Back into nature

I was in Denver this past weekend visiting with Chris' parents!

I've been to Denver at least 5 times now, but I still feel like I only get glimpses of its supposed beauty.  I think mainly because we used to go in the dead of the winter and the roads are too treacherous for travel.

We've started to visit in the fall and now I get to see a lot of fall foliage, which I'm a very big fan of!
Next year, I will go in the summer and get a proper visit of those Rocky Mountains!

Though we headed up the mountains, we got caught in a random snow storm and suddenly...moving from sunlight to heavy snow and clouds. I still found it breathtakingly beautiful.

Also, yay to being active and yay to Chris' parents for planning an extremely active weekend.  Everyday was an adventure and I had so much fun.  I wasn't ready for today and to be back in the office.

Some pictures that make me smile-

Susie got married!

Susie got married!!!  Chris' family and I headed to Sacket's Harbor, NY for a beautiful backyard wedding. Look at this view of Lake Ontario! 

Both families came together to pull this wedding off and it was intimate and lovely.  She's lucky to have this view of the lake and to be sharing it with her husband Damien. They seemed very happy with their dogs and home renovation projects, and we were happy to meet his kind and warm family. 

Here we are in the midst of the wedding enjoying the views and snapping photos! 

And sparkling night lights to finish off the night.  I was so impressed with Susie and Damien --- she made her own cupcakes with intricate frosting and they really made the space welcoming and comfortable for everyone in the days leading up to the event.  Chris' parents and Damien's parents are also troopers! 

And here we are --- one week away from our own anniversary of our wedding last year :) 

A couple of final observations...

- Sacket's Harbor is real rural, I mean REALLY rural. There were 4-5 houses on this country road and nothing else.  A nice reprieve from the bustle of city living, but I don't think it is for me. I'm surprised to know someone who lives in such a rural town! 

- I forgot how hot and muggy the East coast is and I don't miss that...but I do miss all that greenery

My parents turn 70!

My parents turn 70 this year (Korean age, of course). I can't believe that so much time has passed and that they are already 70 years old. It is hard to grasp what that means! 

My sibling and I hosted a party in Seoul at a hip cafe called Maria Jung's Garden located right outside of Seoul Land to celebrate their birthday this April (this post is delayed).  Maria Jung is a quick 10 minute drive from our home and they had a great 7-course meal (so delicious), decorations, and desserts.  

My parents invited roughly 60 of their closest friends and family, and my dad of course found Pop-Opera singers to come sing at the event for 1 hour. Initially, I thought this was a little bit insane, but in the end, of course my dad won out- and it was a great idea.  Instead of people sitting around having to socialize with others they didn't know very well (not all their friends are friends from the same life period), they got to listen to pop-opera singers sing old Korean and opera songs and dance.  It was a great event and I'm really glad that my dad had the foresight amidst our initial complaints to set it up!  

I had fun and my parents had fun! Lots of funny moments in which my sister, brother, and I were supposed to know or do certain things that are traditional Korean customs and we were completely lost and confused. We kept telling the MC that we wanted the "American way" but he had a really hard time accepting that.  All in all, I think everyone had a lot of fun, they enjoyed the food, and it was a unique experience --with lunch and a private show. 

I set up a website, made a photo slide to show during the event, and also had some of my parents close friends living abroad/and family friends from Utah! film videos to send happy birthday messages.  I was impressed with the technology:

I used 

- wix.com for the website

- animoto for the photo slide show 

-  tribute.co for easy collection of video messages

A few words about my parents, even though a few words can't capture how much I love and adore them: 

** My dad is such an amazing person-- as an adult, I can understand and appreciate how unique he is in his ability to think big picture and really say to the world---I'm doing this my way (we had one of the opera singers, sing My Way by Frank Sinatra). 

** My mom is the backbone of our family unit, we love and adore her so much and all she has done caring for us and basically giving up her career in piano and ceramics to take care of our family. 

** My parents are the best parents I could've ever asked for or even hoped for and everyday, even more so now, I am grateful to have been born their daughter.  I only hope that one day I can be just as wise, kind, fun, funny, honest, and generous as they are. 

** They have taught me so many life lessons, and they continue to do so even from afar. 

I wish I had taken more pictures, but I was running around or saying hello to relatives. 

Here are a few pictures that I have from the day: 

October thoughts I can't let go of

1. Health
In the past week and a half, Chris has seen a doctor 3 times, I have seen my doctor/dentist 3 times. Chris has a severe herniated disc in his neck (his C6-C7 is protruding out 3/4 of his spine, pretty scary stuff), and is getting PT and steroid injections, on top of intense ice pack sessions on his neck at home and lying down on the floor while at work (LOL).  The doctor thinks it happened during weight lifting.  Hopefully, he will be able to play hockey again one day, and hopefully, we can solve this problem without him having to get surgery. Everyone--- please be careful.

My problems are less severe, but maybe only because I caught them now instead of later. I have many discs-in my jaw (extreme teeth grinding), in my lumbar spine (no idea why, but I've always had random lower back pain) , and I don't think I can call this a disc, but I sometimes feel a weakness and discomfort around my right wrist (bad posture at work).  I also discovered a small thingamajig on the bottom of my tongue- and my dentist thinks they have to surgically remove it- but not cancerous!

My problems are being solved with - a new mouth guard, PT and strengthening of lower back muscles, and an ergonomic assessment, and ultimately a changing of habits in posture, exercise, diet, and stress management.

Health is one of those things that you don't really pay attention to until you have to, and sometimes until it is too late. It's like money, when you have enough you don't think about it too much, when you don't have enough, or you are pain, it is a major and constant source of stress and unhappiness. My mom said it right- its the most important thing, but its the least urgent.

So needless to say, health is on our minds this month and its been a rather somber month for us.

2. Eating healthy
Related to health is food of course. Last month I considered taking on new eating habits--I chose the temple diet, and it lasted about a week, before we found ourselves eating KBBQ with friends from out of town and BBQ sandwiches in SLO. But during that week, I discovered the magic of mushrooms! (not the drug, but real mushrooms!) This is one of my favorite new recipes. We also learned that we feel better, lighter, and to some degree, happier when we don't eat meat.

Given our health problems- we are now being more conscious of our weight and diet. Weight- because we want to lessen the burden of our spine and all it needs to carry, and diet--cause we are feeling the age!! So, our new diet change (for life) is to eat as much vegetarian as possible, if we do have meat, eat primarily chicken, turkey and fish, and limit red meat to no more than once a week, better if once month.  Low sugar, low carbs.  I don't think we have a particularly bad diet now, but we do like to eat out a lot.

3. 2016 Presidential Elections
If you don't know already- I'm with her! and well, I've always been with her! But this election cycle has been troubling and demoralizing, and I feel it has really brought our nation to a new low. In the midst of that...there is so much good humor.

This made me LOL.
This also made me LOL.

I plan to go to Nevada to campaign for Hillary at the end of the month, stay tuned- it will be a new experience for me, but I suspect it will feel good to put action behind thoughts.

4. Voting on CA laws
This is more than the presidential election. There are so many different ballots to vote on and so much research to do. It is the first time I really feel invested in voting for someone I believe reflects my values at the state legislation level. The CA voting book and the ballots...its like the size of a mini dictionary, 200+ pages!  I am a little surprise to learn that LA Times endorsements are not always what I agree with.

5. Bougainvillea & Lotus flowers
I really love Bougainvilleas. They are so beautiful, and luckily they grow all over Southern California. Whenever I see overgrown bougainvilleas, I have to take a picture. I also love lotus flowers. After years of trying to grow lotus flowers in our pond at home in Korea, my dad FINALLY succeeded! One of the seven seeds he planted made it to flower status. It is breathtakingly awesome.

I have been thinking about this a lot, but I think I love these flowers so much because they remind me of my grandmother, my mom's mom. She passed away last December, and of course being away, I never got to say goodbye. I love my grandmother very very much, she helped raise me and my siblings when we were little and I was always so interested in her life story.  One day, I will write more about her and her passing.

What I remember most about my grandma's house in Korea- is her bougainvilleas. She had an amazing green thumb, and even though it was Seoul, South Korea, she was able to grow bushels of bougainvilleas on her veranda. She was also a devout Buddhist, and for most of her life, she practiced the Buddhist lifestyle, never trying to do any harm to anyone even at her discomfort. Lotus flowers feature prominently in Buddhist culture. I think that's why I love these flowers so much, and I'm lucky that here in California- I am able to see them almost at every turn, and as a result, am reminded of my grandma and her life as I go through my own life. If I had had more time, I would've somehow incorporated them into our wedding, but for another occasion.

In front of a restaurant in Northern Hollywood, before my podcast!

In Beverly Hills--- not looking too happy about posing with flowers.

I am seriously, so impressed with my dad! This is 10 cm in diameter. I always grew up with those beautiful orange flowers-- but the huge lotus leaves and lotus flowers are something else. I wish I could see it in person.  Is this not amazing?

6. Instagram
I have never used instagram because I thought it was like facebook but only pictures, and I never really got the appeal of it. But these days...whoa. I've taken facebook off my phone and instead spend time on instagram! I love following strangers.

This podcast about Instagram on NPR's How I built this was- insightful
I love National Geographic instagrams! - this one in particular gave me pause.
She is so thoughtful- this is my favorite one.

7. Living life meaningfully but also living my life.
How do I explain this? It's like the conflict of taking time to do things that are meaningful and important, like spending as much time with my grandma before she got sick, but also living my life. I didn't have words for this, until I heard Jonathan Safran Foer describe the premise of his new book, Here I Am, on Fresh Air.  I cannot wait to pick this book up.

8. How fast this year has gone by...
Okay, it is only mid-October. But I already know what I'm doing most of the weekends and weeks until Dec 31.  That to me, means its January. I have this crazy habit of going through my calendar incessantly- thinking about financial goals, family goals, and career goals and ideal, and realistic, achievement timelines, and before I know it, I'm already in 2020!! I am trying to embrace the day to day and stop this madness of goal achievements!

최 뚱이

저번주 월요일, 언니가 전화해서 뚱이가 집을 나갔다고 했다. 

When my parents brought home 뚱이, about 12 years ago, they asked us all what we should name her. I was in the U.S. at the time, studying at Notre Dame, and I jokingly said please name her 뚱이, after me! so a part of me is always at home. My parents and siblings would joke that I was getting fat after being in the U.S. and 뚱이 is an 애칭 for Soonie, but a 뚱뚱한 Soonie. 

Last Monday, I found out that my namesake, 뚱이가 집을 나가 돌아오지 않았다.

This is one of my favorite pictures of 뚱이 앤드 백호. Doesn't she look so happy? Doesn't he look so adorable and loving?

When my brother got back from L.A. after being away from home for a week for our wedding, he noticed 뚱이 had a severe skin rash. He took her to the vet immediately.  He sent us all a picture of her looking pretty skinny and confused.  My mom was immensely worried, but the vet reassured us, it was probably just the crazy crazy summer heat wave.  My parents went home to Seoul a week later and my mom was caring for 뚱이. Two weeks go by and she still has the skin rash- my parents find out she has advanced liver cancer and my mom said she couldn't bear to ask the vet how long she had left to live.

뚱이 was moved inside and meticulously cared for by my mom for weeks. I know my mom's heart was breaking--she is my mom's favorite dog after. She is FULL of 애교. My parents then moved her to our newly renovated basement room because it had better shade.  She eventually snuck out of the basement and started hanging out outside with her brother, 백호.  And then one day....they both snuck outside (which they have been doing their whole lives), and only 백호 returned.

It really breaks my heart to think of what could've happened to 뚱이. My parents searched for 뚱이 for four days, my dad interrogated 백호 everyday to no avail, and left our front gate open for four nights and days, this is no small thing. The heat was unbearable they said, but they still searched.

When I called home on Monday last week, my mom said they closed the gate.  She's not coming back. She wouldn't have been able to survive the heat, let alone 4-5 days with no food or water...or I don't even want to think more about what could've happened.

 When she became a mommy to three little puppies.

Some people say dogs leave home when they know it is time to die. I feel like that is something you say to yourself because the alternative is too heartbreaking to consider. Part of me believes that, I desperately want to, but the other part of me just worries that she was run over by a car, or she got lost, or something horrible horrible happened and she couldn't make it home. She's gone now, and we don't know what happened. 

One good thing from all of this, is that my mom is spared. My mom I know would not be able to bring herself to put 뚱이 down. It would've hurt her more than her disappearing on her own accord. 

I'm still very much mourning my doggy--and it sucks not to be home for this and so far away.  I haven't seen my dog in 2 years and I feel so sad about that. While my mom seems completely fine with not knowing what happened, I think this unknown is much harder for me to deal with. I'd rather know. 

My dad is still asking 백호 everyday if he knows where 뚱이 went, and he says he still doesn't have an answer. 

What kind of dog was 뚱이? She was very smart and quick, and an 애교덩어리. But oddly aggressive to other animals- always getting in trouble! Once she bit another dog while she walking with my mom and another time she bit a much bigger dog than her who was passing our house to the forest.  I'm not making her sound very lovely am I?  She had attitude, but she was soooo lovely and loving! She had such 눈치, she knew when she should mosey over and we would play games with her to see whether she'd move to wherever we told her to move.  She had the cutest eyes, you could see her 횐눈동자 when she looked to the side at you, and that was what really made my mom fall in love with her. What else can I say, she's family. I'm so sad that when I go home next time, she won't be there and I won't be able to pet and play with her. I'm heartbroken I never got to say bye. 

The vet, who had treated her her whole life, told my mom not to be sad. He said that 뚱이 lived a good life in a happy family, and I hope hope hope that she did not have a painful passing and she lived a good life until the end.  Rest in peace my sweet 뚱이.