june gloom

There is such a thing as June Gloom.  And then there is May Gray.  For some odd reason, June and sometimes May are cloudy in Southern California.  I often wake up to windows filled of white where you'd expect blue skies.

These days, I find myself restless, anxious, and unable to sleep. And it doesn't help the sky is gloomy. I'm shocked that in 18 days, EIGHTEEN DAYS! Chris and I will be hosting a marriage celebration for some 100+ people.  I feel incredibly unprepared for this and I think I'm most likely forgetting things, very important things, the kind of things all the wedding planners who I interviewed kept eluding to, but wouldn't dare share. ...but then on the other hand, I'm just super excited to share experiences of LA with friends and family coming from afar, and to just see everyone together in one place, meeting each other for the first time, or reconnecting after years. And then...I'm like fuck it. At least I know the food will be good, the venue is unique and very L.A., there will be alcohol, and if everything isn't perfect, or even close to perfect,---perfect meaning not fancy enough, our friends and family will forgive us.  

In the face of a million gazillion options and logistics, and desires to create the environment found on my many pins on pinterest, I find myself frozen in the fear of making the wrong decision. Which is ridiculous. But ...not surprising.  I've always done better when I had less options, but wedding planning is anything but having  limited options (at least in the U.S.). With the clock ticking---work starting to become demanding, and will be until the wedding, and decisions that absolutely NEED to be made at this point, I know Chris and I will be forced to make decisions--whether they are the right ones or wrong ones- something is going to be done. On that note, back to researching options!